I don’t know if you have been isolated. If so, you probably can understand my mood at that time.
At that time, when I was in the second grade, I somehow offended a very powerful boy in the class. The boys in the whole class bullied me because of his instigation and influence. Girls are also afraid of me, I am afraid that they will be targeted by boys because they play with me.
How miserable was I at the time? When I was in the math class, I was called up by the teacher to answer the questions, and all the boys in the class would make a mocking voice; when I went out to fetch water, the front and back doors of the classroom were locked when I came back. I had to stand at the door with a glass and wait until the next one The lesson teacher came over; there were boys throwing Shi Shi Lang into my clothes from behind my neck.
At that time, I was particularly angry and stood up from my seat, screaming, “Can you not be so disgusting!” The guy said to the classmates with a smile, “She was so kind to say that others were disgusting, and Don’t look at your own virtue.” At that time, it was not that there were no female classmates, but they quickly moved away from my seat and said to me: “Don’t follow us, we are afraid of bugs.”
The students around me looked at me. They had teasing, ridicule, and pride in their eyes, but there was no justice, no one was willing to stand up and speak for me.
On the way to school, the boys who rode the mountain bike fast, their body images are lightning, healthy and energetic. But I regard the road to school as “Huangquan Road”. At that time, I really felt that I couldn’t read the book anymore and wanted to take a break from school and wanted to stay at home forever.
I don’t talk to anyone anymore, I just sit on my seat like a puppet. I also used a utility knife to draw a scar on the arm and showed it to the same table. I thought that I could get the sympathy of others. I even put the compass on the arm and said to the boy who bullied me: “You throw away my The homework book, I will tie it down.” But the response I got was: “You tie it up, what’s the matter with me?” After that, I was drenched in the rain for one hour on the playground alone at noon, So that became the laughing stock of the whole school.
I live more and more like a tired shadow, bearing everything in silence, hurting myself awkwardly.
One time later, I was sitting on a park bench alone in a daze. When the rain was coming, my head was blank. I thought I might as well break the jar and fall down by the road.
At this moment, I saw a drunk man holding a wine bottle, with disheveled hair and yellow teeth, walking staggering, pedestrians avoiding the plague.
At that moment, I suddenly realized that my heart’s demons have always been myself, and I have no need to respond to the maliciousness of others. It’s foolish to want to upset the other’s conscience by hurting yourself.
We work hard to change ourselves, not to turn the tide and make those who hate us like us, but to make ourselves good enough.
Now, I want to go to high school in the best key high school. I have good sisters who can go shopping together, and there are also many male students who are playing together. Once I met the guy on the street, he snorted at me, but I no longer feared his eyes, looked back at him calmly.
Because I am no longer timid, no more flinching, no longer trying to punish others by hurting myself.
You see, time will eventually heal all your scars. It kisses your cheek and tells you softly: You don’t have to be afraid at all!