Speak for yourself

The ability to “release”
Like many children, Babe is loved as soon as he is born.

Babe started crawling in 7 months and saw fresh things. She was about to crawl over. Grandma grabbed the things and handed them to her. When Babe was 10 months old, she wanted to stand by the railing of the crib, and her grandmother quickly helped her up. Babe is 14 months old and started to walk. Every step forward, she was very excited. Mother held her in her arms with a heartache and said, “The baby is gone, take a rest.”

Babe was 1 and a half years old, picked up a spoon to eat, and sprinkled food everywhere. Several adults came together, some wiped their mouths, some cleaned up the table, and some grabbed spoons to feed. Babe is 2 and a half years old. She is holding a dress and putting on her head desperately. The head finally got out. She is very excited. The mother came over, quickly took off the clothes and put them on again, and said, “Baby, the clothes are reversed. That’s how it’s worn!”

Gradually, Babe became accustomed to adult care. After going to kindergarten, once the teacher asked her to dress herself, she refused: “I’m afraid I’m wearing it wrong.”

The child lacks the courage to do it himself and is afraid of failure. Because a lot of things are either done or denied, it makes them think they can’t.

“Slow” confidence
One day, my mother and Lele took their children to the playground, and I met an acquaintance of Lele’s mother on the way. The other party asked, “Lele, where do you go to play with your mother?” Lele was about to answer. I saw my mother preemptively said, “This child is shy, don’t be surprised. Let’s go to the playground today.” As soon as the acquaintance left, Lele’s mother Immediately accused: “The uncle just asked you why you didn’t answer?” Le Le said aggrieved: “I just wanted to answer, you said it!” This scene reminded me of the way my parents treated me in my childhood. I finally had the courage to accumulate, because my parents’ labor was disintegrating in an instant, and I finally gave up talking to others. The feeling of frustration in my heart is still fresh in my memory.

After I have a child, I will consciously give the child time and opportunities to let him express himself. Once, take Doudou to the stationery store to buy a counting stick. At the stationery store, Doudou couldn’t remember the name of the counting stick. I really wanted to help him speak out, and seeing how he tried to express it, I refrained. He thought for a while, and said, “There are many roots for counting, and the math teacher asked us to buy them.” The clerk understood at once, and Doudou was also quite proud.

In Doudou’s English class, each child has two minutes of free speech. However, Doudou rarely spoke. The teacher asked “Slowly” and asked Doudou to answer. The teacher told me that sometimes he responded slowly, and sometimes he did not answer, but the teacher did not urge and reminded him in a timely manner to give the child time to think. In such a wait, Doudou gradually improved. One day, without waiting for the teacher to speak, he spoke for two minutes at a stretch.

I can’t help but sigh. In fact, every child is eager to challenge himself. As long as the parents are willing to let them take their time, give them encouragement and support, they will bloom as much as possible.

Wisdom out of “let”
A friend came back from abroad, and I plan to accompany my friend to climb Huangshan. Doudou also wanted to go, but he was just graduating from kindergarten and was going to participate in the graduation show. We certainly hope that he can attend the graduation show as scheduled. But the children’s thoughts are different. He doesn’t think how important the graduation show is. Instead, he thinks that climbing Huangshan with adults is the most important thing. After analyzing the pros and cons of the two with him, we gave him the choice.

After a day of consideration, he chose to participate in the graduation show in kindergarten, and I was relieved. At the same time, I was thinking, would it really cost him a lot to miss a graduation show? In many cases, it is parents who cannot let themselves go and always want to make decisions for their children based on their own life experience.

Children’s growth, like a wheat seedling from germination to earing, needs the moisture of the sun and rain, but also the experience of wind, frost, rain and snow. They slowly understand the world through the touch of their hands, the perception of the body, and the thinking of the brain. Sometimes, they do not need the help of an adult, and they are even less willing to be replaced. Close our mouths, give them freedom and power, let the children do what they can, and let the children speak for themselves.