I want to hear your voice

When I was in elementary school, I was hospitalized for surgery, which delayed my study time. When I go back to school, I can keep up with my self-study in subjects such as Chinese and mathematics. Only music lessons are the only way to self-study. Because I don’t know music, I’m not good at singing. In music class, everyone sings the songs I learned before. I can only lip-sync with other students.

Our music teacher is a college student who just graduated from Sichuan Conservatory of Music. For an ordinary elementary school of that era, she was a dazzling star, and she could tell at a glance that I was lip-synching. During the break, she specifically asked me: “Why don’t you sing with everyone?”

I was ashamed. I thought I should explain things like hospitalization, but what I blurted out was: “I can’t sing.”

The music teacher opened his eyes and asked: “Can’t sing?”

Then she reacted: “Oh, you mean these songs in the book can’t be sung.” She flipped through the music textbook, throwing it aside casually, and said, “It’s okay, then sing the songs you can. .”

I just stood there.

She said: “I want to hear your voice.”

In the following lesson, she did not continue to teach according to the textbook, but let everyone play freely and sing whatever they remembered: singing a cheerful song, a spring song, a song related to friends… She played Accompanied by piano. Some children sang without tune at all, and she also sang very happily. I don’t remember what I sang. It’s probably a nursery rhyme. She nodded at me while knocking on the keys.

This was a very small thing more than 20 years ago.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t ignite my passion for music because of this incident. But it is still a moment of great significance for the growth of a child: a recognized and very powerful teacher who dropped his textbook in a nonchalant manner, but said with a serious expression: “I want to hear your voice .”

Even if it is difficult for a primary school student to clearly express the meaning of this matter, I did get some information from it at the time. This is a message that I cannot ignore when I grow up: singing is a right you can have if you want.

I thought I couldn’t make a sound, but I can. Whether this sound sounds good or not is another matter. The point is that it is my voice, no one can replace “me”.

Before that, I didn’t remember hearing my own voice at all; or if I heard it, I didn’t think it sounded good, so I didn’t need to listen. Not only me, but the children around me are all the same. Everyone is an outsider, setting their own radius of life in the imaginary boxes. There are some nursery rhymes tapes at home, and the covers are all child stars with pink makeup and Yuzhuo. It seems that only their voices are good, echoing in the recorders of thousands of households. Those children are probably in Beijing or Shanghai. They have nothing to do with my world. They live in a dream world.

It is not only a matter of conditions, but not even a matter of vision. Children can be exposed to the colorful world through TV and magazines, but in your heart, have you ever thought that the world is related to yourself?

At that time, I knew that my voice was very important.