Initiative

  Faifei Wong thought about seeing the doctor anyway, not in the form of seeing a doctor, but to be able to see it outside the hospital. When she first asked me how to ask the doctor out, I thought she meant to ask him, but it meant something else to prevent him from misunderstanding. When I gave advice, I tried my best to avoid showing that this matter could have other meanings, so as not to appear that I was overly gossiping about other people’s affairs. Before she asked me to talk to her, people chased her and she avoided it. Kind of thing.
  She was ill after physical examination two months ago and had an emergency operation. At the beginning, she only told me that she added the doctor’s WeChat on the day she was discharged from the hospital, and she often asked some questions about postoperative recovery online. The other party gave a detailed reply almost every time, but she still didn’t listen. If you don’t listen, you still have to ask, and if you ask, you don’t want to listen. At this point, I should have seen the problem, but I didn’t have it at the time. I don’t think I can see that there is another reason for the problem, that is, Faifei Wong does not have it herself. If you ask others for their opinions and don’t listen to them, why do you ask again and again?
  She is the “patient who doesn’t take medicine” in the doctor’s department, just like she is the student who doesn’t do homework in the school, and the child who is always picky eaters at home. There are helpless complaints and more pampering. One person can do this because she is allowed to do this. Faifei Wong herself does not deny that she is always the favored person, on the contrary, she can say this naturally. Whenever she said this, it was like saying “the earth revolves around the sun” or “plants obtain energy through photosynthesis”, calm, objective and confident. While watching me from the side, I always amazed in my heart. I was surprised that a person would be loved if he didn’t do anything. Is this reasonable?
  When Faifei Wong asked the doctor for dinner for the first time, the doctor said that it shouldn’t be so troublesome. Just say it on WeChat if there is something to do. This kind of polite response is reasonable. If you offer to thank you, the other party will naturally reject it. It is strange that people agree immediately. But Faifei Wong was very injured and very difficult, so she came to ask me what to do. Only then did I know that she was asking the doctor for dinner, not for the simple purpose of thanking her.
  She didn’t even think about thanking him. She thought that if she asked the doctor out, the other party would definitely agree. She didn’t even bother to engage in etiquette, so she said directly: Come out for a meal. I don’t know if the more familiar you are with a person, the shorter your speech will be. You know all the subtexts, you only need to throw out the most critical information. But the most critical words are always the hardest to say, everything needs a process. Besides, they are not so familiar yet, they are still doctors and patients. I asked Faifei Wong why you asked as if you were already familiar. She said that she didn’t know whether they were familiar or not, so she told me the process of their acquaintance and asked me to help her judge.
  As soon as the results of the physical examination came out at that time, Faifei Wong was told that she needed to call a certain expert to arrange surgery-related matters. The numbers for that day were all hung up, and she waited for a temporary plus for a day, and finally entered the expert consultation room at four o’clock in the afternoon. Experts advised her to be admitted to the hospital immediately to prepare for surgery. At this time, a student of the expert, Faifei Wong, who is now talking about it every day, appeared on the stage. He helped her fill out the admission procedures and answered the “mentally handicapped” problem of Faye Wong, a person who had almost never entered the hospital before. In order to catch up with the admission that day, he also contacted and found a staff member who had already left work and finally helped. Faifei Wong completed a full set of procedures. Faifei Wong immediately felt that the guy in front of her was a smart and hard-working doctor who really cared about patients, a patient and caring person.
  Faifei Wong said that she was completely dumbfounded before and after the operation. First, she didn’t feel any abnormality in her body at all in her daily life. How could she suddenly be on the operating table? Second, the attending doctor said that the risks and possible sequelae of the operation were terrible… …Fortunately, time did not allow her to think about it, the operation was performed the next day, and it went smoothly. In the more than ten days of hospitalization after the operation, Faifei Wong had time to wonder why she was hit by such a catastrophe. But there is no answer to this kind of thing. She was silently suffering from the physical and psychological double blow in the midst of weakness and low-grade fever. Coupled with the strange environment of the ward, she couldn’t sleep well all night. Until one day when the young doctor came to round the room, she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep, but could feel the doctor staying beside her for a while, and she opened her eyes and it was him. He asked her softly if she was uncomfortable, she shook her head, and the doctor told her to continue sleeping, she actually fell into a deep sleep like being enchanted. From then on, they seemed to have formed a tacit understanding. The doctor seemed to know that she was waiting for a word of comfort from him. They came to see every time on duty, and she could fall asleep immediately after the doctor left. She also added that she observed that the doctor did not do this to other patients.
  Hearing Feifei Wong’s narration, the ambiguous breath came up immediately, and I saw the texture of the white coat that I used to put my wisdom teeth on my face. If so, then the doctor should be interesting to Faifei Wong. It is very common for patients to like doctors. It turns out that doctors can also like patients. She added another sentence after she told me. This is her personal feeling, and she doesn’t know if the objective facts are like this. I said to her, trust your instincts.
  ”Then why didn’t you ask him out?”
  ”Maybe he was polite first?”
  ”I was not polite with him either.”
  ”Perhaps this is the problem, you didn’t follow the routine. You should be polite with him first: First explain your intentions, this meal is to thank him for his constant care; then show your sincerity, saying that you were too worried about your health before, so you didn’t think too much, and asked him a lot of questions on WeChat, which took him too much. In my personal time, I now realize that, I hope I can have a chance to express my apologies and gratitude, otherwise I will feel sorry for myself.”
  I think, when it comes to this, the doctor will agree as long as she doesn’t hate her. Faifei Wong felt it was not her, she couldn’t tell. I also know this is a bunch of nonsense, but who doesn’t say a bunch of nonsense every day. This is not what I learned when I grow up. Better to say this is empathy, responsibility, and release of kindness from a safe distance. If the doctor is really intentional, that is to say, what Faifei Wong felt in the ward in the middle of the night and half awake is true, then she can ask whatever she wants. But isn’t that half of the possibility, isn’t that true? I didn’t say this directly to Faifei Wong, so I told her that the appointment was correct.
  A few days later, Faifei Wong told me that she still couldn’t tell. It would be impossible for her to say such a thing. She thinks she is a straight-forward person, and it is true. She asked the doctor again when she would have time to eat together. The doctor said that it was not possible recently and was a little busy. Let me add a sentence. After her analysis, the doctor said it should not be an excuse. He is indeed very busy. He has to visit the outpatient clinic and guard the ward. He also has to perform operations, night shifts and emergency treatments, and also engage in academic studies. Once the doctor did not reply to her news, she was very angry about it. Later, she learned that young doctors were generally too busy to have personal time, and she felt that she was not good to others, which burdened people and made people feel wronged. But that’s all, the point is, she actually replied “Wait for you to find me when you are not busy”? !
  ”Do you really   respond like this?’Wait for you to find me when you are not busy’?”
  ”Yeah.”
“Do you really think he will find you?”
  ”?”
  ”Why do you think he really will Looking for you?”
  ”Because I said.”

 I am going to be mad at her. I told her that in the world of our grown-ups, you are like saying, so be it. Everyone acquiesces that the invited party usually does not take the initiative to initiate the invitation, so you are euphemistically saying that this is the end of the matter. It may take some time for Faifei Wong to accept this logic. Whoever taught her was an invited role before. The person being hired never takes the initiative, but is the one who actually holds the initiative. This world is really unfair.
  Her words have been sent out, so let’s do this first. I will ask Faifei Wong to ask the doctor again after a while. Of course, the premise is that she still wants to see him and needs this meal. She also said that it is not necessary to eat, it would be embarrassing to face each other, and it is best to take a walk or something together. I said that we adults don’t seem to have this option. Don’t look at what I always say, Faifei Wong is the same age as me, but she does not accept (have no chance to learn) this set of rules in our daily lives. I sometimes envy her, and even feel self-pity in the envy. How can I learn these bright and dark rules? Who doesn’t want to be spoiled all the time?
  She doesn’t like any of the boys who like Faifei Wong. She has her own criteria for choosing people, the most important of which is to be able to play with her and play in the way she wants. For example, stepping on the snow and raining with her, for example, accompany her to eat the food she wants to eat regardless of time and place. This is a very simple standard, but also a difficult standard. If I were a man, it might not be her boyfriend, because I think I should stay indoors in rainy and snowy weather. I don’t think I have to eat anything. In short, her standard seems to me neither necessary nor sufficient. Those boys who chase her can also do this for her, at least claiming to be able to do this for her. Why doesn’t she still like it? She paused for a second, and said that she didn’t like it anyway. She asked me what my standard was, and I said it was hard to tell, probably because I knew what virtue I was and would still be willing to stay with me? This is of course also a cliché. It’s not better than stepping on the snow and getting in the rain, but I think it’s important to understand. If you don’t understand me, how do you know that you are with me? Having said that, I simply don’t know who of us is more selfish, one wants unconditional company, and the other wants barrier-free understanding. In short, we are greedy enough. Faifei Wong said how this is greedy, people should have standards.
  Faifei Wong upholds her standards and has been single peacefully and happily for several years. What does this doctor mean to her? There is no doubt that he is a special, or a special existence by her. She doesn’t care about so many people who have expressed concern to Faifei Wong, but is interested in this doctor. Among so many patients, only Faifei Wong has received special attention from doctors. So where does this particularity come from? Is it as random as a serious illness comes?
  I added a little brother’s WeChat on the subway a while ago. The thing is like this: I often meet him on the subway to work, he got on the third stop after I got on the train, and then we sat down all the way to the end and got off near the terminal. There are many large and small Internet companies at our site. Although I still don’t know which company he belongs to, it is not important. At first I found that he would look at me. I knew that we go to work every day, and we take the subway at this time to work every day, and we are in a fixed carriage every day, so we can see it almost every day… So what? If it weren’t for going to work, why would everyone be trapped in this crowded carriage? I guess my face must be stinky when he looks at me. Who is going to work happily early in the morning? But then when I glanced at him, I found that he would still look at me. When I was reading, when I was using my phone, when I was answering the phone… Is he looking at me, or he noticed when I saw him So look at me? It’s hard to make things clear after the matter…In short, when we saw each other, we started to say hello and became acquaintances of nodding our heads. Later, before getting out of the car and going to different exits, we would be individual, a little bit more advanced than the nodding acquaintance, but only so little. And for most of the time, from meeting in the car to waving goodbye, we still squeezed in the crowd to do our own things (swiping our mobile phones), and no one said a word.
  In terms of emotional experience, Faye Wong and I are almost the opposite. It seems that people suddenly started to be liked in their middle age, and I didn’t understand what was going on for a while. The boy is handsome, almost the most handsome in the whole car. At first I was indifferent, because this kind of person usually has nothing to do with me, so I either actively or unconsciously exclude him from my sight. With such a beautiful face, when you see you, you will laugh like a conditioned reflex. Is there anything better than this in this world? I have never felt so valuable. The advantage of a young man is that the thoughts in his heart are written on his face and his eyes, so simple and direct, even if he doesn’t say a word. If it’s better to go to this class, it’s that I can see him every day, even if it’s a small burden for me, I don’t know. I don’t know how to deal with it.
  The day I left my job, I decided that morning, if I could see my little brother, I would add his WeChat account. I thought I would never take this subway line again at this time, and I would never see my brother again, at least I had to tell him. But do you want to add WeChat? Why did he never come to ask for my WeChat? Is he not afraid that one day I will no longer appear on this subway? But it was my side that changed first, and I felt that I was at least somewhat responsible for telling the other party. Then do you want to add WeChat… Finally, what made me decide was this idea. I thought that there are all kinds of customers, work partners, partners, sales, express delivery, and property in WeChat. A lot of people, such a good brother, why can’t I add him?
  The little brother got in the car that day. I told him before getting off the bus that I won’t take this bus tomorrow and add a WeChat account. I didn’t think he thought of it, but when he reacted, he immediately opened WeChat and acted as if we had already said it, except that I reminded him. We said goodbye as usual. Before I got out of the subway station, he sent a message, telling me his name, telling me that he had seen the books I read, the dramas I had read on the subway… how great Brother, this is not only expected, but also expected to make me regret it. What am I doing? I thought before just adding a WeChat, so I can meet and chat like friends, after all, I don’t even know how many people are not friends in WeChat. But I’m lying to myself. Sooner or later, I will tell him, I am not single. I’m sorry, I know, I added your WeChat initiative. I am sick.
  A month has passed, and there is still nothing happening between Faifei Wong and the doctor. Suddenly one day, she found me on WeChat and yelled at the doctor. It’s actually very simple. On that day, Faifei Wong saw that the doctor’s WeChat exercise count was only double digits throughout the day. She knew that he had not gone out, and then concluded that he had a rest this day. So she sent a questioning message: Are you free, why don’t you find me. The doctor came back after a long time, and what he said was, has your body recovered?
  In my opinion, there is nothing wrong. A doctor is doing his duty as a doctor, but he didn’t answer Faifei Wong’s question. But Faifei Wong couldn’t accept it at all. He answered the wrong question. He deliberately changed the topic. He didn’t have the heart! I don’t know the details and the whole picture of their exchanges. Based on the few words of their dialogue, I feel that Faye Wong is all about it, and the doctor always expresses his mind for a while and evades his mind through the identity of a doctor. Faifei Wong’s expression was particularly aggressive, but the doctor liked to go around. The two always couldn’t talk together, and no one dared to pick out the problem clearly and talk about it.
  Faifei Wong came to ask me what the two of them are doing from my point of view, and what the doctor’s mentality is in these reactions. In fact, I didn’t dare to say that the doctor might have a girlfriend. Faifei Wong proposed it by herself. She said that she could accept it even in this way. She didn’t think about anything. It’s just that the relationship between the two people is stuck here. feeling bad. I said to Faifei Wong that I thought he was really interesting to you at first, but after some consideration, it still felt inappropriate and flinched. What I wanted to say was that after some contacts, it felt inappropriate, but I was a counselor and I didn’t even dare to say this. This is my problem. I am a person who naturally thinks of meaning beyond the literal meaning. I am afraid that when I say “it feels inappropriate after some interactions”, it will make Faifei Wong think that it is a problem of her own performance, which will make her sad. But I know most of her don’t think so. She is a person who understands literally, she doesn’t turn too many turns, and she doesn’t easily doubt that she denies herself. This is the reason why I like to be friends with her. Far away, in short, when Feifei Wong heard me say that the doctor was interesting to him, she felt some comfort in her heart, and her mood gradually calmed down. Although the conversation between them is always not smooth, her meaning should have been clearly conveyed to the doctor. If the doctor is interested, he will take the initiative to look for her. I told her to stop looking for a doctor and keep her breath.
  It’s been a long time since I heard from the subway brother. I don’t know if it’s because he perceives my indifferent attitude. Sometimes I am quite curious about him, and the longer he disappears, the more curious I will be. I also want to know his recent situation, is he still in that company, is he still taking that subway, and whether he has met anyone on the subway. I also want to know what he thinks of me, we are so different, how he saw me in the first place. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night and I want to see if he is there, but it seems that the social etiquette of online chatting has also changed over the years. Now, if you are lonely and bored, just go find someone to chat with, it is a very rude behavior. I have no idea. I seem to be waiting for others to take the initiative, it seems that everything will be resolved this way, but I know in my heart that it will not, I still messed up.
  Of course, Faifei Wong didn’t listen to me, she didn’t even listen to the doctor’s words. She did not wait for the doctor to contact her because she knew that they would not be in contact if she did not take the initiative. I heard that they talked a lot later, and they no longer revolved around the illness. They will talk about each other’s lives, such as what they do after work, such as the delicious and secret restaurants near the hospital. Faifei Wong said that a few times she could feel the doctor’s emotions, but sometimes she felt that there was actually no progress. But at the very least, she said, he would respond when she asked him, and that was enough. I think she should really like him.