“It’s so annoying, I missed the flight to Maldives, so I can only go there by special plane.”
“My husband bought me a Lamborghini. But the color is so ugly, straight guys are really earthy.”
“Why are there so many people asking me to ask for WeChat? I don’t even have makeup today.”
What a few words of “sadness”! Haha…It’s a high-level model of “low-key with elegance and sadness with boasting”!
The simplicity in the text, the nobility under the tact
Last year, this kind of Versailles literary style, which wanted to promote first, suppressed and praised, suddenly became popular. “Fan scholars” show off cars, bags, and affection with this high-level show off. They seem to be low-key and unremarkable, but after a careful touch, they found that they are already luxurious to the bone, and the high-end is too high to breathe!
It can be said that although the text is simple and the expression is tactful, the lethality is extremely strong-the line reveals the noble atmosphere of Versailles.
So why is there a Versailles body? Why don’t people like Versailles? Behind these problems lies an important psychological phenomenon—social comparison.
In the ancient Greek city of Delphi Temple, a famous saying to alert the world is engraved on the stone pillar, “Man, know yourself”. It can be seen that the proposition of self-recognition has existed since ancient times.
Social comparison happens to help us answer the proposition of “who am I”. Consider this question: Please describe yourself in your eyes. If we describe directly, we may not be able to write, as if there are a thousand words but we can’t put it down.
However, if I give you a reference-a certain friend of yours, Xiao Li, then describe yourself. You will find it easier. You can say that I am taller than Xiao Li, I am not thinner than Xiao Li, I am more cheerful than him, but not as much as he earns more money. Good guy, write it eloquently, I almost can’t recognize myself.
In short, there is a comparison with a reference, and with a comparison, “I” is not a solitary individual, but a recognizable object.
Stop talking nonsense, admit it, I just want to be better than you
As early as 1954, American social psychologist Leon Festinger put forward the famous “Social Comparison Theory”, which systematically discussed the comparison between people. Just like the example we just cited, social comparison can help us better complete our self-awareness and form our self-concept.
More ubiquitous. When we were in school, we started to compare with other classmates-my father is richer, my mother is more beautiful, I have more pocket money, and my academic performance is better than you.
When we grow up, we are still comparing, comparing work, income, car, and seat. It’s like no matter whether I work well or not, how much I earn or not, whether the car is expensive or not, as long as it is better than the person being compared, I win and win.
Later, the content of comparison becomes a child. Let’s just say that the society is relatively large-scale experimental site-the parent meeting. Dad Zhang’s child got 100 points on the test, and his face was full of red, and he might even ask about how other children’s children behaved. Mother Li’s child only got 60 points in the test, and was restless, and hurried to leave after the meeting. In short, social comparison is a dynamic development, throughout a lifetime.
A study in 2019 pointed out that nationals in collectivist cultural countries (China, Japan, etc.) pay more attention to comparison than individualistic cultural countries (such as Nordic countries). This may be due to the fact that the collectivist culture is more advocating to stand out-so it must be better than the people around to achieve this goal.
In addition to knowing oneself, another important social significance of social comparison is to provide relative feelings. A large number of psychological studies have found that the relative feeling of a quality has a greater impact on people than the absolute feeling. Taking the sense of power as an example, research points out that people value “I have more power than you” rather than “I really have power”. In other words, a sesame-sized power is in hand, as long as a smaller reference object can be found, sesame can also become a watermelon.
Although more obscure, the core essence of Versailles is still relatively-highlighting a comparison result of “I am stronger than you”. It just used a more obscure way of expression to turn “strong” into an invisible sword, pointing directly at people’s vanity and self-esteem.
The positive is a “model” and the reverse is a “clown”
Society is more likely to cause anxiety-this must be well understood by everyone. We often say that being in an anxious age is the result of our frequent comparisons with others. Especially when the comparison object is stronger than us, this kind of “upward comparison” will make us feel uncomfortable. This also explains why the Versailles body is quite disgusting.
This kind of expression is often eager to promote and suppress, at the beginning it gives people an illusion, making you feel that “I am better than him.” However, the ending was disappointing, and it turned out to be “I’m far from others”. This kind of ups and downs is really a disturbing mentality, and I can’t help feeling that “the clown is actually myself”. It is this “roller coaster” experience that magnifies the negative impact of “upward comparison”.
Of course, society has more positive meanings. As mentioned above, as a way for human beings to understand themselves, it can help us to see ourselves better, especially the gap between ourselves and others. This is the psychological motivation that promotes our progress.
For example, during the epidemic, I saw so many retrograde doctors and nurses, they were wearing white clothes and composing the love of the world.
This comparison has set an example for us to learn-even if we can’t come to the front line in person, we can donate generously and give love. It is the beneficial influence brought by social comparison that we can only think of the good.
Take a small notebook and write down yourself is the best comparison object
Since comparison is rooted in culture and is a human characteristic that has existed since childhood, it is inevitable, so instead of spending energy to convince yourself not to compare, it is better to understand comparison correctly and give more play to its positive side.
The purpose of comparison is to better understand ourselves, so we should focus on ends rather than means. In other words, we should pay attention to the meaning of comparison, instead of indulging in comparison with others and not being enterprising.
Secondly, the comparison should also “strengthen the strengths and avoid weaknesses.” No one is perfect, no one is perfect. Everyone has his strengths and weaknesses. Some people are good at speaking, and some people like to research…There is no single leaf, and there is no exactly the same individual.
The meaning of comparison is to discover their own characteristics, not to measure different individuals for uniformity. For example, his height is clearly 170 centimeters, but he has to be compared with Yao Ming-this is tantamount to hitting a rock with a pebble and asking himself to be bored.
Therefore, in the process of comparison, we should take a correct view of our own characteristics, and give full play to our strengths and show our advantages as much as possible.
Finally, try to change the comparison object, and finally realize self-comparison. Yesterday’s self is the best comparison. What we have to do is to go further than yesterday’s me. If life is a 10,000-meter long-distance race, the goal we really want to surpass is not others, but ourselves.
