Many things you can only experience alone

  Your experience is that no one else can do it for you. It’s fortunate if someone supports you. You can’t ask others to empathize.
  A friend of mine was laid off by the company not long ago. He is nearly 40 years old, is very sick, has no savings on hand, and is worried about foreign affairs for a while. One day, he told me that he might be depressed. I persuaded him to go to the doctor as soon as possible, and he said that he was afraid that the doctor would really diagnose him as having depression… For
  a while, I didn’t know what to say, and everything seemed perfunctory. The pain is one’s own, and whoever happens to it is whoever has it. In fact, there is a layer between understanding and empathy.
  Turning to Huang Tongtong’s new novel “First Class”, she wrote in her postscript: “Some people say, I think this little explanation of yours is a story about a poor-looking girl hitting the wind and making a fortune. . If you only see this layer, congratulations, you are a person who is not very pessimistic and easy to be happy. Because I am writing a particularly sad story. The 4 most beautiful and talented women of the past. College students, after more than 20 years, despite their hard work, the scars of their lives have remained in their hearts one by one.” It
  can be seen that the same story, the same encounter, everyone’s feelings are actually very different, sometimes they understand, and even seem to be different. Far-fetched.
  A girlfriend called me at night. I thought something was wrong, but she said that she was going to have an eye surgery on the weekend to correct myopia, and she had been so nervous that she couldn’t sleep for several days. My first reaction was that she was too exaggerated, because the eye surgery she had to do was technically mature, not to mention correcting eyesight is a good thing. However, I thought for a while and said to her: “Yes, it means that you haven’t encountered any big things in your life so far. It’s a good thing that you are nervous.” She thought about it and said, “Yes. Ah!” I said: “Then keep being nervous like this!”
  Those calm people are those who have seen wind and waves, been tempered and beaten, and have experienced the darkest moments of life. Because they have experienced it, come again, come twice, or even come again, it’s nothing, so they are getting calmer and calmer. And they know that tension is useless, fear is useless, and that what should come will come.
  If a person is in middle age and is still nervous when encountering a little thing, it means she is lucky.
  Think about it when I was 20 years old, I used to stand on a platform in a strange city at 10 o’clock in the evening, full of trepidation. In fact, nothing happened. I just feel that being alone in such a strange city, this scene is a bit “sad.” Of course I didn’t know at that time, there are still many “sadness” things that I will experience from now on, and they are all much more serious than this. Looking back now, the young girl on the platform that day was not “sorrowful” at all, but was just the sentimentality of the young man.
  Curiously, when this girl really encountered problems in the future, she never felt sad again in her heart. On the contrary, she became more courageous and grew up in pain. And these, a 20-year-old person could not understand, at that time, her pain was still on the moon.
  Your experience is that no one else can do it for you. It’s fortunate if someone supports you. You can’t ask others to empathize. We often blame others for why they don’t understand our pain, blame the world for giving us so much trouble, and we even feel that we have been targeted. But if you spend some energy to ask others, who is not the case? Everyone lives so hard.
  I hope that a person will always be “vulnerable” at the age of 20. I think it is extremely sad to stand on the platform in late autumn and wait for the night train. But I know that this wish is almost impossible to realize, and he will inevitably experience truly sad things in his later life. I can only hope that he will develop a tenacious heart in suffering, not complaining, and not giving up on himself.
  I think that if you can do this, your life will be pretty good.