In life, people are often more willing to deal with those who are sociable and colorful. Because they are always proactive and enthusiastic, when getting along with them, people feel happy and comfortable. And those who like to walk alone, they are a little more cold and lonely, making people feel difficult to approach. But life is long, people come and go, and there are actually very few people who can really stay and become bosom friends. Temporary enthusiasm may not be true feelings; true feelings are those that can withstand the filtration and precipitation of time.
Writer Li Xiaoyi shared such an experience on her social account: When she was a child, she always liked to join the children, not because of how much she liked it, but because she was afraid of being alone. When she grew up, she had no choice but to join the crowd because of her professional needs and because she was afraid of being isolated. But in fact, she is a real “pseudo-extrovert” person. Although it seems that she has a lot of friends, but most of the time, she is trying to force herself to integrate into the group. Every hustle and bustle makes her feel physically and mentally exhausted. Compared with those social entertainment, she actually enjoys alone time more.
Until recent years, she has become obsessed with exercise and fitness, going there about five times a week, each exercise is about 90 minutes. At first, the friends around her were very puzzled, thinking that she was so busy with both work and family, how could she spare so much time? But in order to persevere, she almost turned down all unnecessary entertainment, went straight to the gym after get off work, and told a few close friends and work partners about her fitness time, asking them to try their best if they have something to do. Finish talking at noon, or at work.
In the past three years, although some friends have drifted away from her because of this, she has gained health and self-discipline.
In your life, have you ever had a time like this: After working all day, you just want to go home and rest, but when faced with an invitation from a colleague, you can only bite the bullet and agree, for fear of being told that you don’t fit in. When I went to a party, I felt very bored, but I was worried that others would think that I was rude to go first, so I persisted until the end, and when I returned home, I began to fall into endless regrets, blaming myself for wasting my time.
The famous writer Jia Pingwa wrote in “Walking Alone Freely”: “It is actually a good thing to be separated from friends.” At a certain age, the smaller the circle and the fewer friends, it actually means that the life is better.
People with few friends are not lonely, they just live a more transparent and sober life, no need to use crowds to fill the spiritual emptiness. Only by reducing ineffective social interaction can we save more time and energy for ourselves and better obey our hearts. Go to sports and sweat, go to study and travel, do what you like, do your best, just to live comfortably every day.
There is also a kind of people who seem to do their own way and seem to seldom care about the evaluation of people around them. Whether others like them or hate them, they don’t take it too seriously. For them, the gossip of those who don’t understand them is just a passing cloud. They know very well that there are many times in a person’s life, but it is actually difficult to get the understanding and approval of the people around them. Those longing for distant places are just the scenery that one person yearns for alone, the journey will inevitably be lonely, and there are not many friends to accompany.
Those who don’t understand you don’t have to force them to be together, just shut up, smile, and leave, that’s the best relationship you can promise each other. Instead of living up to other people’s expectations, let yourself live comfortably. Only by being fearless of gossip and gossip and focusing on one’s own life can one live more easily in this mundane world.
When we were young, we always used to regard our friends as very important, as if we had enough friends, this life is not worthless. But for those friends who require you to bend down and smile, it is futile to have more. You don’t have to force yourself to fit in with the group, just follow your heart and do what you like. Life will actually be much simpler and happiness will be much easier.
Don’t please, don’t deliberately, leave time for the things you love, manage your own small world well, and every sincerity you give will get the response it deserves.
