The longer you are in love, the more important you will find that two people are not complementary, but similar. Why do so many couples finally separate because of “incompatible personalities”?
1 What is a personality incompatibility?
You are gentle in character, cautious in doing things, and slow in heat; I am emotional, procrastinate, and like to be lively. When two people like this are together, it is not called personality incompatibility, but different personalities. They have different personalities, but they were quite interesting at first, complementing each other. Those who are silent find endorsements, those who are impulsive find calm, those who are socially fearful find gregariousness, and those who are round the corners find straightforward ones, influencing and healing each other.
One day, he introduced you to a dish, dry stir-fried sausage. You are surprised, is this thing edible? You couldn’t help being curious, tried one piece, and then decided to try another plate. You recommend him a dessert, egg yolk crisp. He shook his head, you said half a mouthful, it’s really invincible and super delicious. He frowned, the more he chewed, the happier he took away the other half. Who doesn’t have a gap, you meet a person, he fits your gap perfectly, and the moment he fills it, he feels so down-to-earth and secure.
One day, the notch loosened a bit, he took the last piece of dry and stir-fried sausage on the plate, and you took the last piece of egg yolk cake in a fit of anger. In life, bumps and bumps are inevitable, and it is all about demolishing each other and accommodating each other at the same time. However, the more you get used to it, the bigger the gap will become. What he wants is porridge that can be warm, and what you want is Li Dusk. Everyone lost confidence in the gap and began to feel inferior, sensitive, and aggressive.
Complementary two people, in fact, did not meet in the same season at the beginning. He said that the wheat was ripe in August, and you went to his wheat field. You said that the flowers bloomed in March, and he went to your flowerbed. Later, the journey is long, you are all tired, and you miss your season. Then you separated. In fact, it’s not that you have different personalities, but that neither of you can handle the differences in life. Once the communication frequency is different, unpleasant, and incomplete, the first instinct is not to think about whether you have clearly expressed your needs, but to blame the other party for not understand yourself. You are not in the same season, how can you understand each other.
2 I asked a friend who has been married for many years, how to calculate a good marriage? Side by side marriage, she said.
Two people, one is in front, chasing the butterfly with joy, the other follows with panting, the fast person turns around and leads the slow person, and flowers bloom on the street. Affection is not self-moving. The slow person only sees the back of the fast person. How can there be any flowers blooming. However, spring waits for no one. You said, the fast person, regret not seeing the flowers bloom, will he blame the slow person for walking too slowly? If you say slow people, will you feel guilty? If you walk faster, you can accompany fast people to watch flowers bloom on Moshang. So, go side by side. When you catch up with the flowering period, you will accompany the bees to make honey. If you miss the flowering period, you will continue to move forward. Not all flowers bloom in spring. If you miss it in spring, you will find the answer in autumn.
Later, I thought, how can there be someone who is so determined to walk side by side? Even two people who are similar will have differences. One likes the blooming flowers in the distance, and the other likes the big squid nearby. There will always be a bit of conflict, why? manage? Friends said that they came together not because they were similar, but because they had the ability to deal with differences, so they became similar. You like to eat duck blood, I like to eat hairy belly, this is not called personality incompatibility. Personality incompatibility is, you want to eat duck blood vermicelli soup, I want to eat green pepper fried hairy belly. And those who walked side by side, they always found the answer of Shabu-shabu, Maoxuewang, and Mala Xiangguo on the premise of respecting each other’s wishes. Yes, maybe we don’t know how to deal with differences, so we lost the unwilling person in the past. In fact, he also has many similarities with himself, but at that time, staring at his own gap for too long, asked him, do you have any? He said, yes. Another new gap, ask him, do you have it? He said, yes.
Therefore, two people who complement each other kept asking, and later, everyone was tired. How can an insecure person be filled with another insecure person? How can a man take his own gap to love someone?
If you have a potato, then love with the potato, if he has a green pepper, then love with the green pepper. Potatoes don’t love a green pepper that needs eggs, and green peppers don’t love a potato that needs brisket. Everyone is not the second best choice. Later, the fried potato chips with green peppers were not complementary, not because they didn’t meet a better one and chose to make do, but they had similar values, and I only had a lifetime, so it was impossible to give generously to those I didn’t love. Potatoes are proud, and green peppers are also proud. This pride is not the kind of need that can fill someone’s gap, but I am worthy of being loved by you, and I am worthy, so I met that similar soul.