The first time I learned that I was suffering from glaucoma, it was a unit physical examination. When measuring the vision of the right eye, I couldn’t see the big E in the top row of the vision chart. I thought it was myopia. And after the examination of the fundus, it was declared: this is the late stage of glaucoma. In the subsequent visual field examination, 70% of my right eye and 20% of my left eye were severely damaged, dark and blurred – half of my optic nerves were killed.
In my limited life knowledge, the word “late” has nothing to do with any good thing. The doctor shook his head: It’s a pity that you are still so young. It seems that I am dying of a terminal illness soon. That afternoon, the doctor finished the laser eye surgery for me. I smelled the slight burnt smell in the air, and walked out groggy before I woke up from the anesthesia. The doctor said behind me, “Your intraocular pressure has temporarily dropped to a normal level. , The eye drops must not be stopped every day in the future, otherwise the intraocular pressure will continue to rise. Remember, glaucoma is irreversible, and the remaining visual field must be protected!”
”How many years will the eye drops be instilled?”
”For a lifetime!” The doctor said.
There are several kinds of eye drops, which are dripped many times a day. After dripping into the eyes, they will penetrate into the throat. Some are slightly bitter, some pantothenic acid, and some will make eyelashes longer. Some girls buy this kind of eye purely because of beauty. Some of the potions will make the eyes bloodshot and be mistaken for Ye Ye Shengge. Every time I go on a business trip, the most important thing is eye drops. People can’t lose eye drops. Every time I go to a place, I first find the eye drops in the refrigerator. A lot of trouble.
One eye has almost no field of vision, and can only rely on the other eye to focus, which is somewhat “inaccurate”. When climbing a mountain, I was afraid of rolling down the mountain and could only use both hands and feet; I was forced to retire from football because I couldn’t stop the ball; I asked a colleague to play badminton, and I didn’t catch a single ball for ten minutes. He couldn’t bear the humiliation and turned around. An old lady with a grandson next to him wanted to discuss with me. I was so mad that I decided to show her some color. We had a hard fight, and in the end I lost 5:21, and I quit badminton.
Glaucoma is the most taboo to watch bright screens in the dark, so I also bid farewell to the cinema completely. Once my colleagues had dinner together, and everyone was so excited to watch “Wolf Warrior”. I declined the invitation and said that the last movie I watched in my life was Jackie Chan’s “Police Story”. joke. One of life’s pains is when others hear your tragedy as a comedy.
I don’t understand why I got glaucoma, the doctor said it’s mostly genetic, but none of my ancestors had it for three generations. Medicine couldn’t explain it, and I had to resort to metaphysics. The psychologist De Trevoren said nonsense in the “Psychology of Diseases”: all diseases stem from psychological problems. Disease is not a bad thing. It is our closest friend. It helps us understand ourselves and become healthy and complete.
I don’t know if glaucoma is a close friend, but it’s definitely a friend who can’t be offended. Eye disease may be my inner escape reflex to the heavy, trivial and stressful middle-aged life. In order not to lose my sight before I know my destiny, I started to reduce staying up late, socializing and drinking, playing less mobile phones, and escaping if I could work overtime, not drinking coffee and tea (stimulating the optic nerve), insisting on exercising, talking to idiots calmly, with a mask Nalissa’s smile goes to the trouble of explaining to her friends that glaucoma isn’t about glaucoma in the eye, or peeking at a girl taking a shower and going to the toilet—that’s just pink eye. I often comfort myself that Joyce and Borges also have serious eye diseases and are almost blind. The Argentine master also wrote a poem to ridicule himself “God gave me books and night at the same time, this is really a wonderful irony”, Bai Juyi is half The blind man does not prevent him from talking about life with the singer in the middle of the night.
This uninvited friend who was destined to accompany me for the rest of my life made me understand and accept my limits, and was forced to live a life of restraint. From this point of view, Dr. De Trevoren’s book is not all bullshit.
