In recent years, when everyone talks about “emotions”, there is a tendency to avoid them. Especially angry, when I say this word, I have the impression of “making a mistake”, as if only easy-going, sensible, and tepid communication is the only desirable way of interaction. If this preference is pushed to the extreme, no collision will occur, and the inherent contradictions will be concealed and a certain sincerity will be lost.
In fact, anger is essential.
I have been a college teacher, and this is a typical profession that is required to be emotionally correct. As a result, teachers who are willing to get angry in the classroom are already considered rare species, and they will be persuaded by people around them at every turn, not to be too “various”.
For example, I know an old lady who is notoriously stern and slashing. Some students have been reprimanded with shameless faces. She would like to make comments and hope that the teacher will be more friendly. The old lady didn’t buy it at all: “You are here to learn, and you don’t want to praise.”
I think if my own children encounter such uneasy teachers in the future, it will be a lucky thing. Because also as a teacher, I know that it is easier to obey the wishes of the students.
When I was lecturing at the university, the students below were looking at their mobile phones or crackling words at the computer. I walked behind them, they sat upright like frightened birds, and closed the screen with a snap. Of course he is not taking class notes. But should I care? I could yell at that time: “Put away all the mobile phones and computers, and listen to the class!” I can also pretend not to see it, and talk about it as if nothing has happened. And I choose the latter almost every time.
This is not out of love for them. To put it bluntly, it’s because I’m afraid of conflict and don’t want to make others unhappy. I don’t care how many people attend the class. Anyway, they choose not to listen. What’s wrong with me?
However, there are still troublesome people in this world. These people care.
In a relationship, when one person values another person very seriously and believes that you are closely related to him, it is impossible to get along with everything. He is more serious: whether you are good, whether it hurts or not, whether you are really studying in class, he takes it as his own business, there will inevitably be nervousness, disappointment, gesticulation, and even anger: “What is the matter with you? You are worthy of this. me?”
When can I stop getting angry? Just think clearly: you are you, I am me, your life has nothing to do with me. It’s easy going now.
There seems to be nothing wrong with this attitude. But I always feel that if someone is willing to stop in front of you, it is valuable. Assuming I am a student, I don’t want the teacher to give up being a “wicked person” so quickly. Although I will protest and complain, but I don’t want the teacher to back down. I need a set of contradictions: while struggling, I hope that someone will stand in front of me and say: “No, we must do hardship!” Just like me You need a hard-hearted and selfless trainer when you work out.
One thing I didn’t do well, I need someone to tell the truth, and at the same time, if someone really tells me, I will feel uncomfortable. Then, I hope that those who really care about me will speak up even if they are upset. This world often needs this kind of role, stand up and persist at the right time, and at the same time have to be angry. But who would be willing to play such a role?
Today, that is, close relatives, teachers, best friends, the rest of the people are all “you are happy as long as you are happy”. This is what I mean when I say precious. Even though I need someone to be cruel to me, why do others have to be evil in front of me for this secret expectation? What good is it for him to become a villain?
Generally speaking, in the face of conflict, fewer and fewer people can persist in being more honest and uneasy. Easy-going is a more cost-effective choice. I don’t know if it’s because of middle-aged people. Looking at the people around me now, I feel that everyone has a tendency to become more accommodating. Some friends used to like to argue with people on the Internet, but now they are all “Buddhas”. You can do whatever you say. You disagree with me? Okay, you must be right. You scold me? I just hahaha. You want me to disappear? I disappeared immediately.
The conflict is much less than in the past. But sometimes I also miss the era when I was blushing and arguing over some trivial matters. Just like the old lady mentioned earlier, she reminded me of the kind of old teachers that I often saw in college. They have a perverse temper and have been teaching for decades. They will dance around in class and have high spirits, and they will have to be answered when they hit the table. If you can’t answer, he is really anxious to you. Not to mention sleepy. As soon as your eyelids fight, there is a sound of cursing in your ears. I often thank them for their teaching.
I can’t help thinking, why can’t I be such a teacher? In addition to the more and more easy-going mentality, there is another reason that students “cannot afford” these years. They can make complaints after class or give their teachers low marks at the end of the semester when they are upset by the teacher’s training. These will have a real impact. To be a “hated” person, if there is no benefit, but also to suffer losses, who would dare not follow others? This shows that emotion is very important, but it is better not to give it too high power.
If those unhappy guys are too unlucky, they will become more and more slippery, and in the future we will only hear more and more talkative voices, and those unpleasant voices will gradually disappear like this Up.
